Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
