i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
