i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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