I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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