careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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