You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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