we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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