It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
