We're like a lot better than the average bears
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
