Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
