Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
it's great music for shaving your balls
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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