just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
