I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
