Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
