who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
