So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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