Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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