Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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