pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
