We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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