i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
