Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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