I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
