he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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