I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
