Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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