he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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