We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
