the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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