he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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