Don't you send me to vm
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
