u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
