He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
