How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
