I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
