I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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