nut hugger
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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