I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
