no, he came in my armpit
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
