fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
