Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
