The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
