I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
