Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
