Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
