meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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