no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
