So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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