we're blogging at a bar
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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