Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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