Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
