don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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