My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
