What a fucking waste of an outfit
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
